Thursday, March 4, 2010

Career Woman

I sat down at the desk again tonight with a long list of 'to do's' in my head. I was going to create a meal plan for the upcoming week - complete with grocery list, plan out a few months of nursery lessons with a printable for the parents, organize my latest recipes into the binder and add divider sections . . . and then I remembered a few people that I needed to email back.

So, I emailed some friends . . . and, then I got lost on Facebook for a few minutes.

Okay . . . shake it off. Focus.

Back to online resources that can help me plan meals and nursery lessons.

One blog led to another and another and another. I couldn't even hit {back} enough to get back to where I started.

What WAS I doing?

Okay, back on track. Looking at sites with craft ideas for young children. Perfect.

Wait . . . she (a blogger I do not know - not even distantly) not only posts about family home evening resources and nursery ideas, she used PVC pipes as drapery rods in her family room. It looks amazing . . . She said the idea came from another blog written by a mom that home schools eight children, adds a new recipe and FHE lesson every week, and has colored 100s of pictures that anyone can download to use on flannel boards . . . Her blog linked to another blog of a mom that printed out those 100s of pictures onto t-shirt transfer fabric which she ironed to flannel and then cut out and organized into individual folders with supporting lessons and stories.

Enough. I will link to all these blogs on my blog so I can refer back to them . . . later.

While I'm on my blog, I'll just check out some of my actual friend's sites to see if they've made any updates. I think at least half of the girls I know are pregnant - including Katherine, who has just made her second gorgeous quilt in just a few months.

ARGH! Sure, I know I should just be happy for all of these amazing women and for all they do. And, I am. I really am. But, now I'm also feeling completely inadequate.

Long gone (or at least shelved) is the notion that I will be this kind of crafty mom. Forget the homeschooling or even the quilts. I'd just be happy to update my blog regularly for my own records, have a schedule for nursery beyond 1 or 2 weeks, organize my 'craft room' (poor, neglected, dusty craft room), and organize . . . well . . . my life.

There are women all around that seem to have everything at home ticking like clockwork. Plus, they throw in a bit of patience, spiritual calm, and insight.


And, then I try to think about what I am really good at. Hmmmm . . .

Well, I am good at my job. And, it's not just your normal job. It's a busy one. Not just busy, but . . . complicated. Hard. Challenging. Pivotal. No wonder I like it.

And, then . . . I realized (really and truly) for the first time that I am . . . {gasp} . . . a CAREER WOMAN. A business professional.

Sure, everyone else probably realized that long ago. Not me.

I have been an in denial wanna-be stay-at-home crafty, creative mom that worked just for insurance and money . . . for five years now. Wow.

I think part of me thought that by admitting I have come to enjoy my job that I would also somehow be saying that I wouldn't prefer to be home raising my kids. And, that's not true.

But, I sense the judging sometimes. I have brushed off the comments by people completely unaware of our situation and Gavin's needs. Those insensitive self-righteous comments.

And, I always get a little chuckle at the people who feel sorry for Jeff. Poor Jeff that has somehow given up everything so that I can work. He has been worried over by everyone much more than your typical stay-at-home parent, I guarantee. Much more than a wanna-be full-time mom. Funny (in an ironic kind of way) . . .

No one can deny how amazing he is. I sent him a note yesterday - from the office - when he sounded uncharacteristically frustrated by cleaning the kitchen yet again - that said that I didn't know any other man that could rebuild a car's engine, construct a house, be more financially savvy or athletic while serving as a go-to babysitter, doing laundry, teaching Gavin the alphabet, being the most amazing patient daddy ever . . . all while loving and supporting an all-too-often frazzled wife. I love him. No . . . I adore him.

So, perhaps he's doing a better job at being a stay-at-home parent than I would.


I'll admit . . . it's not easy to keep a balance. Not at all. When I could be stretching my creative muscles at night, you can typically find me with my computer on my lap, conducting some kind of regression analysis to create a model to forecast the proper daily media spend based on the number of registrants we gain each day at varying levels of TV spend and viewer impressions. And, I hated that I told Autumn to "wait just a second" for me to read her a book tonight because I needed to check my Blackberry. Again.


I'm a career woman. Not a stay-at-home mom. But, I'm still a mommy.

I bet if I were one of those other amazing mom bloggers, I'd wrap this post up with a little bow of wisdom. A little spiritual thought that proves I have grown yet again today.

But, I'm not going to do that. I'm too deflated to try. I'm not even going to do anything that was on my original list. I'll be honest . . . I'll likely go answer some work emails.

Everything else will wait for another night, another list . . . another shelf.


  1. Oh Karen! Where do I start? First - I'm pretty sure you would be an AMAZING stay at home mom. You need to grow in a different way. Also, my experience those moms do all that crafty stuff cause you need to do something to keep you from going insane. It feels nice to have accomplished something, even if it is only making a small craft. All I can say is that I seriously admire you because it seem you are good at everything! I'm pretty sure I would have the engergy you have.
    Aaand - if you ever need help organizing that dusty craft room let me know.

  2. Karen! I really don't know how you do it all. You are amazing. Thanks for really sharing about how you feel. I so want to be a "mom" who is crafty and fun, but find myself drawn to work and other things. I'm so glad to know it is just not me who feels this way. You are a great mom and career woman--if only I could be more like you! I learn so much from you each time we talk and you share experiences.

    I can't wait until you move home! Loves!

  3. You are an amazing mom and an impressive career woman! admitting your dang good at your job does not lessen your value as a mother.
    p.s. I'm happy to join you and Emily for craft room organization party, sounds fun!

  4. I really look up to you. You are MORE talented then you realize. I think it's fabulous you are so smart and so good at your job and really, you shouldn't feel bad about that either. I've seen FIRST hand HOW much you LOVE your children and that you'd do ANYTHING for them! I also envy the fact that you have your Master's-such an AMAZING accomplishment. I'm hoping that will be me someday!
    Jor and I are also hoping you guys move back this summer too! We miss you! If not, we SOOOO want to come visit this summer with our baby!

  5. Karen you are one of the greatest and caring people I know. And I know alot of people. As for Jeff, he is great and smart and a great dad and friend, but until I see him land a fish with his own two hands, he is rubbish to me. ha ha

  6. Karen, Karen, are a Career Woman, true. But you are also an AMAZING mom. And friend! You find time for the things that are important on top of all your responsibilities. You are an inspiration to me, I find myself wanting to be a better mom, wife, sister, friend, when I am around you. As for Jeff, your job is hard too. I know first hand. If I have to sweep one more time today.....ahhhh! Love you guys!!!!

  7. Karen, I love you! You are an amazing woman. I don't think you realize just how terrific you are. :)