Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Gotta Start Somewhere

I have big aspirations all the time.  I want to write.  I want to journal.  I want to document my family's story.  I want to express my worries, fears, hopes, concerns and dreams.

I want to create a Blurb book with pictures.  I want to go through all of the years of kindergarten and preschool artwork and frame pieces and create proper collections.  I want to get ONE picture up on a wall in my house (yes - still naked walls staring at me everywhere).

But, I also have a tendency to become overwhelmed when I have too many options.  I recently read something that said that it takes willpower to make decisions, to be tactful and professional, and to bite your tongue - and that willpower runs out.  And, it confirmed (and kind of justified) my suspicion that I am using up all of my focus, determination and decision-making skills at work . . . and there's just not much left when I get home. 

A few examples . . .

I have been promising myself that I would be writing a blog post every day.  And, I'll admit . . .
it's not just that I don't know where to start because I have so much to say.  I also end up losing myself in other people's worlds . . . dreaming of New York City life with my littles, being a stay-at-home mom in Arizona, or having the confidence to share advice on things from cooking to crafting on Clover Lane.  I'm a voyeur and not a contributor to this lovely little internet world.
I needed to replace a much-used and much-beloved strawberry slicer.  After doing some research and narrowing the list down - I asked Jeff for his opinion.  He laughed and said that it would have made more sense to quickly buy 2 or 3 rather than spend an hour agonizing over the options for a $5 product.  Hmmmm . . . true.
In the very rare few moments when I have quiet in my house (imagine two babies asleep at the same time and two big kids playing happily for a moment) . . . what do I do!?  I could sleep, I could clean, I could read, I could exercise . . . oh my.  So, I usually waste my time in indecision.  Annoying.  It actually reminds me about a short story that I was assigned to write in college.  I procrastinated as usual - and then suffered from total writer's block.  I wrote a story about a girl that couldn't come up with a story to write.  True story. 

So, what am I going to do?  How do I find a way to channel some deep inner store of untapped will power and apply some consistency in my life?  Perhaps even a regular routine or schedule? 

I guess I just gotta start somewhere.