Sunday, December 6, 2009

To Stay or To Go

That is the question . . .

Our landlord called to let us know that he'd be coming through the house on Saturday with his real estate agent. He plans to put the house on the market on May 1st - and wants us out by April 30th. Putting aside the fact that our lease doesn't end until June and we have a three month extension option after that . . . it still now presents us with an added complication to our decision of whether or not to stay in Canada for year #3.

If we stay . . .

We will likely - according to Canadian law, our lease, and common sense - not have to move out before our lease ends in June . . . at a minimum. And, yes, he's pretty much a jerk for even putting us in this position. And, yes, we're going to have to involve lawyers. Annoying.

But, it still means that if we decide to stay another year, we still have to pack up everything we own, find another appropriate rental home - preferably allowing both kids to continue attending their same schools - and move again . . . for just one year.

On the other hand, staying is the only real job security we have. Moving back home means that I hire and train my replacement before we return to Utah - and then I don't manage the Canadian market anymore. So strange. My business - as stressful as it can be - is my little world. It's my baby. I started the website and have managed it since. I doubled the sales in less than four years. I have worked incredibly hard - and definitely too much. Nevertheless, for better or for worse, I can't imagine not doing this job.

If we go . . .

The 'adventure' ends and we move back home. We then are faced with a series of decisions. First, are we actually moving back into our house (assuming it has not been destroyed by the renters) or trying to find another house to move to directly? Of course . . . see section above on 'job security'.

Buying another home is much more scary when you aren't exactly sure what job you will have. And, yes . . . I know that most people don't have 100% job security at any time. I do understand that. But, if you don't know much about me . . . I am very conservative and risk-averse when it comes to money . . . and that factors in heavily here.

Looking for a job in Utah while I live in Canada would be incredibly difficult. I don't want to have to think about hiring, training, moving and job-hunting at the same time (plus two kids and a husband). And, it is very likely that I will have a position with my company when I return. What that will be? That's a great question. All senior marketing staff are in San Francisco now. And, moving there isn't really an option for us (or at least Jeff). I can do a lot of things . . . but, I would ideally like to factor in job satisfaction, too - since it doesn't look like I'll be a stay-at-home mom anytime soon. And, if I were to find another company . . . I would potentially face a long commute. Ancestry is the closest company you can find out of Provo Canyon and there are not many options in Park City either. Anywhere else and I'll be traveling at least 45 minutes.

Then there's the vital question of Gavin's medical care. I am definitely not making commentary here on universal healthcare versus the US system. I will leave that debate entirely for another day. I am, however, hesitant to 'go back'. To clarify . . . I don't want Gavin's progress to be delayed for a split second. I don't want to have to convince (or re-convince) a group of therapists that Gavin's potential far exceeded the perceptual limitations that they had established for him initially. I do love that there is an entire hospital here (and even an elementary school) dedicated to rehabilitation and treatment for children with special needs. That's pretty incredible.

And, there are a million other considerations. Is baby #3 a possibility? When? Where? Yes, we think about it all the time.

And, I haven't even addressed proximity to family and friends. There's nothing like being back home. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such amazing friends . . . and people that still support us and love us. Oh how I miss you all. But, after a year in Toronto, we've made some great friendships here. After two years, it will be that much harder. Change is never easy.

We'll be able to drive to Colorado again from Heber . . . but, we are actually in driving distance to Virginia out here. And, the road actually traveled both ways one time (ahem . . . yes, Mom and Dad, we'd like you to come visit again).

There's the beach in Toronto - the one thing I miss in Utah. But, there are mountains in Utah. I can't live without them.

When did we grow up and have to make such adult decisions?

I won't go on . . . but, there's the story. We've been praying to know what we should be doing and where we should be.

All ideas are welcome :)