Thursday, January 17, 2008

Snow Angels

I think it's safe to say that almost every mom of a toddler is on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I adore my children . . . and that's not a strong enough word. I am addicted to them. I want to be with them all the time and agonize when I am not. But, if I'm truly honest with myself . . . the stress of a full-time job sometimes takes over and my patience wears thin in the very moments where the imagination, innocence, and sweetness of my children are most obvious.

For example, when playing CandyLand, Autumn traces the entire (long and windy) path for each move (while singing a song that she makes up), knocking every other player off the board with gusto, until she randomly picks a space that she likes (despite knowing exactly how to play). It's adorable at the same time it is intolerable after 20 minutes of this kind of play. It's also similar to being angry for just a moment when my 10 month old wakes me at 3 am in the morning . . . again. It's not his fault both of his top teeth are coming in at the same time.

And, then I have a day that makes my heart grow even bigger. Monday everything ran smoothly . . . we had a complete Southern meal (ribs, baked beans, cheesy potatoes and cornbread) ready in the crockpot (my favorite appliance), Autumn was actually happy to go play with friends at day care, Gavin was a doll all day, and I actually got work done! We had a family home evening lesson on friendship, made an Amish Friendship Bread starter, sang songs . . . and Autumn and Gavin could not have been cuter (she actually had me repeat the lesson Tuesday morning again). They both went to bed relatively on time (and Autumn even let us brush her teeth without argument)! My sink was clean (a FlyLady mandate), Jeff cleaned and vaccuumed the family room and we enjoyed some time together. It all seems so simple . . . which is why it was so wonderful.

I think everyday, more than once, about how this is the only time in my children's life when they need me like this, when they want to be with us more than anyone else, and when my every thought and action is molding two incredible little people. And, I pray for more patience and for peace and self-acceptance that I am making the best out of the situation that I am in. That I am working for my children - even though they may not understand for a long time. That I am constantly striving to be the best mom and wife I can for two beautiful children and an ever-loving husband . . . but, it's okay not to be perfect.


  1. Gavin has the most beautiful eyes ever! WOW... I think that you are a great mom and it's more then obvious that your children are your everything!

  2. Amen sista! Sometimes mommyhood is hard, but worth it. :)

    PS-Autumn is not allowed to play candyland with my kids. I don't want them to learn her style!!! ;)

  3. I love reading your blogs. They are so true and to the point. I agree with it all too, and it is a good thing they will understand as they get older, its just getting there thats the problem.

  4. Look at those beautiful eyes! So true what you said. The best part is that you can find joy in the little things.