Thursday, December 29, 2011

A new little Peterson baby

Today was our 20 week ultrasound for #4.  After going through the experiences we did with Gavin . . . it seems so trivial to even wish for a certain gender or anything else beyond 'healthy' and 'developing normally.'

But, our sweet little Autumn was 100% praying for a little baby sister.

And, although Jeff and I felt almost guilty for hoping for a girl . . . for Autumn's sake . . . we did just a little.

We always focus on Gavin and the trials that he goes through individually.  But, it should never be overlooked that this situation is incredibly difficult for Autumn as well.  She is the one that waits for Gavin, pushes him in his walker or wheelchair, endures countless hours at the hospital and doctors' offices and generally experiences a different kind of life than other little girls.  At every Spina Bifida event we attend, we always hear about the impact these special kids have on their siblings.  It is something we can't avoid, but we try to always consider.  His big sister waiting at the end of the hall for him was the only reason that Gavin even started using his walker.

So, even though I felt almost 100% sure that we were having another boy . . . I was kind of hoping that she could get the little sister that she had been hoping for. 

She told us that she would pack up her things and run away if we were having another boy.  She was looking ahead to the day that she might have to actually babysit three 'pesky boys' with dread.

When we arrived at the hospital for the ultrasound, Jeff took a quick picture of Autumn with fingers crossed and a hopeful smile on her face.

Within the first 10 seconds of the ultrasound . . . it was confirmed in an obvious way that #4 was indeed another boy.

Autumn spent the rest of the appointment waiting on the other side of the curtain in total despair.

The whole family went to lunch afterward and I explained to Autumn how special it was to be the princess of the family.  I reminded her of our special girls' nights and pedicures and crafts and all of the pink and frilly things that she loves.  I also suggested that she was one of the toughest girls I know - and that she needed brothers to try to keep up with her on her dirt bike and her snowmobile.  And, I topped it off by suggesting that she would never have to share a bedroom.

And, then I saved my own few, guilty tears until a little later in the day . . . when Autumn and Gavin were happily playing at a friend's house.

I couldn't be happier that Gage will have a brother so close in age.  I hope that they will be little buddies forever.  And, I'm so extremely happy that so far the baby looks healthy.

But, if I truly admit it . . . I can't stand the thought of getting rid of Autumn's clothes.  But, it's not about the clothes.  It's about my little girl.  And, the small little hope in the back of my head that I might have a little bundle of pink one more time.

And, I really, really wanted - for Autumn's sake - for her to catch a little break and get her wish.

In the last 3 1/2 years, Autumn has lived in two countries, four houses, gone to three different schools by first grade and had one new baby added to the family. She has gone through quite a lot for a six year old.

I spent some time tonight looking back through pictures of Autumn and Gavin. Oh to relive those days of my sweet, crazy little princess.

Although she desperately wanted a sister, Autumn is so sweet to her little brothers.  At six, she's the best helper for Gage.  And, loves to take care of him without my asking.  She loved Gavin from the start.


Our little girl constantly keeps us on our toes.

But, everything pink aside . . . we have some cute little boys in our house.  And, we absolutely adore them.  Even though Gavin's first year was riddled with unusual circumstances . . . man, that kid was a sweetheart.

And, then there's our little G-man.  Could a kid get any cuter?

 Honestly, I just think it will be so fun to grow our family and to have a little newborn of our very own to hold one more time.  I feel so grateful for the little angels we have and can't wait to meet our new little Peterson.

And, truth be told . . . Autumn is very likely to get a baby girl kitten for her birthday.  Small consolation for not getting a sister . . . but, we're hoping it might help.


  1. What? Another baby for the Petersons? I had no idea! Congrats! Autumn was a pretty cute little one (and still is), but you are right - you make a good boy variety too. Never a dull moment in the Peterson household!

  2. Another ONE!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYA! So happy for you guys, the best news of the holidays!!!! Another boy huh, just remind Autumn of her ol' pal Ang, and how she has NO little girls...sigh, sniff. That's great Karen, I hope your feeling great and good luck with everything. Miss you guys.
    p.s. I need to call you soon...

  3. FYI... Everytime I watched the cute chick-lets, Autumn was the BIGGEST help!!! Seriously. She never complained, just would do what needed to happen with the boys. I was SO grateful for her and would secretly watch the clock cuz I couldn't wait for her to come home from school and hang out with me!!! :)

  4. You are such a good mom to think of Autumn and what she is going through & what she wants. She will be an amazing person when she grows up, just like her Mama :). Love ya!