Garrett's First Twelve Months

To see all twelve months of Garrett's first year . . . it's beautiful, amazing and heart-breaking all at the same time.  My little baby grew up way too fast.  I know I'm a broken record and I know we all say the same thing.  But, my insides feel like they are going to cave in when I think that I am moving past my newborn baby years.  I adore them.  I want to smell them and rub my cheek on their soft skin.

And, what a lucky mom I am to have my four angels.  And, I will cherish every minute.

But, I will ache to have a newborn again.

Oh so sad to go . . . oh so much fun when you get there

It's been two years since I traveled out of the country for work.  Last time I was in London was when Gage was 6 months old.  I had convinced Jeff to come with me somehow . . . and we even arranged for Jeff's parents to watch the two older kids.  After diligent preparations and 'thinking of everything', I realized the night before the trip that we did not have a passport for our littlest man.  The parents that had just returned from living in a foreign country for years - and knew very well about the passport restrictions . . . completely forgot.  It was devastating.  I spent the night canceling flights, rearranging flights and crying.

Fast forward two years, and I couldn't convince that very same husband to come with me and bring our 10 month old.  Jeff said something like, 'absolutely under no circumstances would I travel 13 hours with a baby on a plane'  and 'are you crazy!?'  So, I traveled without my family.

And, there was more sadness and crying and regret as I drove away - and my whole family waved from the front window.  Lots more tears.

Luckily, I traveled with good friends from the company - all of whom were leaving their littles at home as well.  And, we commiserated.  And, we talked about them.  We shared pictures and stories and family traditions and talked about how - although we were missing our families terribly - we all felt loneliness especially for our spouses, left at home alone with our kids.

And, we endured the 13+ hours of traveling.  And, we worked hard on presentations and slides and leading discussions and analyzing numbers for days.

And, then we partied like rock stars at night!

I absolutely despise the leaving.  But, once I'm there . . . I do take full advantage.

 

Autumn's Baptism

Our little girl looked so tall and grown up as she chose to be baptized on her 8th birthday.  How amazing to actually celebrate her birthday on the very day she was surrounded by family and friends for her baptism.  She was lucky to have one set of grandparents and Uncle Jared and Aunt Lynnsey's family in town, especially for the event.

  

 

Escape Artist

To the shoppers and employees of Famous Footwear,

I ran in today with my 23-month-old little man to buy a specific pair of shoes for his big sister on Christmas Eve.  I knew exactly where they were and what size I needed.  We headed directly to the cash register to make the purchase when she told us that all shoes were buy one get one half off.

Please don't blame me for feeling obligated to quickly find another pair of shoes to capitalize on the special offer.  Yes, I realize I had to spend more money to save.  I felt it would be irresponsible of me not to buy two pairs.

I just needed to try on two pairs of shoes.  Really . . . that's all I was doing . . . while Gage attempted to run out of the store at least 15 times.

I'm not a bad mom.  I just can't try on a pair of shoes while I'm restraining my little man.  I tried.  A few times.  I realized it wasn't possible.  There aren't carts in your store.  And, he realized that he could get to the door several different ways in a few seconds flat.

Thank goodness for double doors . . . and some knowledge, somewhere deep down, that told him that truly escaping the store into the snowy, busy, cold world was not in his best interest.  He hesitated every time at that final set of doors and giggled before he started to push the door open.

And, I was always running right behind him.  With one shoe on.  With two different shoes on.  Hopping on one foot.  His giggles gave him away.

And, to the woman that I ran into as I chased my man around the corner, I'm sorry again.  And, I do appreciate your telling me that you felt sorrier for me.  I think.

It's hard to keep my little man down.

Sincerely,
The Mom that chased her son to the front door 15 times while shopping for a Christmas present and a really good deal

Christmas in New York

I have always dreamed of Christmas in New York City.  I love New York.  Yearn for it sometimes. 

I've had the pleasure of experiencing the city twice.  Once to celebrate New Year's Eve at Times Square while I was at Radford.  A-mazing.  And, one other time a few years ago, when I was in town for a marketing summit.  In the few short days I was there, I went to see Wicked all by myself (giddy like a little girl on Christmas, calling Jeff from the lobby gushing about how excited I was to be there in that moment), visited Times Square, and shopped in some of the biggest stores downtown.  

What is it about this city that I find so incredibly enticing? 

Yes, I love my space, not paying for parking everywhere, having a car, quiet neighborhoods . . . but, I could be just as happy in a studio apartment on the 23rd floor . . . at least for a while.  I've said it before . . . I guess I'm a little bit country and a little bit city.  It's not that I don't know who I am . . . I think.  I just enjoy a lot of different things.

Jeff knows exactly who he is.  Jeff is all country.  And, I like Jeff.  Soooo . . . we will never be city people.  Living in Toronto was as close as we will get to big city life.

So, I will live my dream in other ways.  When the time is right, I'll find a way to spend some time in the Big Apple near Christmas.

For now, I'll go watch Miracle on 34th Street and try to get my fill of parades and crowds and skyscrapers.

Jeff wrinkles his nose at the thought of all of this . . . including any old movies.

But, that's the beauty of marriage.  You don't have to like every single thing together.  It's healthy to have your own dreams.

And, one of mine is New York City!!

Any takers?

We Even Missed Santa . . .

Sigh.  Breathe.  It's over.  The relaxation can begin.  I can start my Christmas celebration.

Honestly, I did warn them when they asked me to be in charge of the ward Christmas party.  Although for years I hoped and aspired to be a Martha Stewart-type hostess.  Alas, it is not my strength.  Yet, they didn't have much time left to continue the search for a more appropriate event planner.  So, I reluctantly agreed.  Oh my . . .

200 people.  Breakfast.  Singing.  Entertainment.  Decorations.  Santa.

We survived.  People ate.  There was enough food.  There was singing, piano-playing, guitar-playing, and more singing.  Someone read Thomas Monson's new book, The Christmas Train, to the children.  It was very sweet.

There was one wild little toddler running around and squealing - pretty much the whole event - and trying to crawl onto stage.  Where were that kid's parents???

It would be funnier if I had a picture of said toddler so you could see little Gage's mischievous face.  I was, of course, too busy chasing the little guy and walking in and out of the gym to soften his screams during a beautiful solo of O Holy Night (the tear-inducing kind of rendition) to snap a photo.

Autumn and a few of her friends all sang a rockin' Christmas song together.  She was beyond thrilled. She'd been going back and forth for weeks on what she would sing.  She tries so very hard to fit in with the girls in the neighborhood - who are all one grade and one year ahead of her.  That year makes a difference.

I didn't take a single picture of the gym all decorated and set up.  It's almost as if it never happened.

And . . . my kids missed Santa.  All of the children stood in line and waited for that one last opportunity to tell Santa what they were still hoping for on Christmas morning and snap a photo.  But, not my children.  Not one.  How did that happen?

I took one picture of my favorite detail - the snowflake garland - that spanned the whole room.  This picture doesn't do it justice.  It really was pretty with the overhead lights off and the Christmas tree lights on.

Throwing this party was a little like building a house.  You do your best to think ahead - but, there are so many things that you don't know until it's just too late.  And, then once it's done, it's much easier to recognize what you could have changed to improve it.  Yet . . . you won't have the chance for a do-over . . . which is actually okay by me.

I am not Martha Stewart.  Not even close.

Now . . . back to my normally scheduled Christmas spirit . . . sigh.