I've been thinking about this a lot recently . . . but, even after four children . . . I have never felt like I am in any position to exude advice or wisdom on parenting. I constantly feel as if I am a student of the school of parenting . . . always in the receiving/learning/experiencing phase . . . and not in the role of teacher or leader. It's not that I feel like I am doing a terrible job . . . but, I would never say that I have it down (would any parent?? if so - I'd love to talk to them).
But, I do seriously admire the many women that share their lives through blogs and articles that have an air of confident calm. Oh how I would love if people used those words to describe me!
T - Take a minute (breathe and observe).
E - Engage and empathize.
A - Acknowledge the feelings and needs.
C - Connect and problem solve.
H - How does it feel? How do I feel? How do you feel?
I will never forget a NY taxi driver that told me that the major influence a parent has on their child is in the first five years. *gulp* He was kind of a brilliant taxi driver, by the way . . . the stories that drivers must hear and the wisdom they must gain. That's a separate story. But, I don't miss opportunities to learn from taxi drivers (unlike my hard and fast rule that I never talk to people on planes. Ever.).
In a second, my two babies have grown from this:
to these big kids:
with a couple more added in who aren't that small anymore either:
If only these kids understood how hard we try to be the best we can for them. But, I don't think you can ever understand that phenomenon until you have kids of your own. And, then you can't UN-know what you know . . . your kids are your everything, punishments really might hurt the parents more than the kids, life really isn't fair, you can't and SHOULDN'T have everything you want, and yes . . . you have to share, be kind, and learn to handle authority well . . . and you are actually in control of your own happiness.
We don't exactly know what we are doing. But, we are hopefully getting an A for effort . . . which, sadly, in the world of parenting, may not mean much.
We are learning, too, little ones. And, we love you.
