Cooking Failures

Something is happening to me . . . and it's not good. I am rapidly losing my skills in the kitchen. I've never claimed to be a master chef. But, I am creative and have consistently put good, (mostly) healthy meals on the table for years for my family. Witness the downward spiral . . .

Disaster #1: During our first trip to a Canadian grocery store we were confused and overwhelmed. We wondered why the yogurt was so expensive - and didn't realize until our next trip that we had shopped in the Kosher section. It was also an honest mistake when we bought "Low Fat Old Cheddar." I didn't see the "low fat" part but assume "old cheddar" indicated a sharp cheese (my personal favorite). So, when I tried to make a cheese-based soup a few days later . . . I was very confused when the cheese didn't melt as I was expecting. Instead it formed hard globs of a glue-like consistency. Both Autumn and Jeff tried sawing at the globs with their spoons . . . bless their little hearts . . . before I gave them full permission to dump the bowls into the trash (or, in what was our pre-garbage disposal period, into the sink-side organic waste bin).

Disaster #2: Believe it or not, I attempted soup again - albeit a different recipe. This one was not entirely my fault . . . I did make the mistake of adding flour directly to the soup for thickening (idiotic, I know . . . Mom you taught me much better!) So, despite the little hard nuggets of floating flour globs, it was going to be an edible meal . . . until Autumn had a meltdown and I spent a little too long in her bedroom 'talking it out.' Burnt soup. Definitely not edible.

Disaster #3: Even when I try new recipes . . . they never turn out this bad. How hard could Sweet and Sour Chicken be, you say? Apparently too difficult for me. It took so long to prepare that I didn't even waste time adding vegetables. The runny sauce tasted like rice vinegar (nothing sweet, nothing sour) and the rice (always perfect in my pressure cooker) was a soupy mess. I actually attempted to strain both the rice and the sauce. Yes, gross.

Disaster #4: Fajita night. I had cut the chicken ahead of time and we had fresh onions, portabello mushrooms and red peppers ready to go. Things were going well and the chicken and vegetables were perfectly grilled . . . until I dumped the McCormick Fajita dry mix packet into the pan. I've used it before and it was fabulous. As I was dumping it in, I immediately knew something was wrong. I tried to dismiss the idea that the entire meal now smelled like detergent. I even tried to choke down a piece of chicken while thinking happy fajita thoughts. And, before I dumped the entire meal down the garbage disposal (yea!) . . . I had Jeff try a bite and confirm my fears. Yes. Detergent. Possibly poison. Maybe worse.

So, that's it. I'm at a cross-roads. I can put back on the apron or settle for breakfast food every night (Jeff's specialty). If I make a few more meals like these . . . my family might make the choice for me.

And . . . as a sidenote . . . I opened the second McCormick Fajita packet in our pantry (both purchased in Heber) and confirmed the same detergent smell. Jeff did call McCormick and they are sending us some free coupons.