T.E.A.C.H.

I found this acronym today on a parenting site that I refer to now and then (http://greatparentingshow.com/live.html). 

I've been thinking about this a lot recently . . . but, even after four children . . . I have never felt like I am in any position to exude advice or wisdom on parenting.  I constantly feel as if I am a student of the school of parenting . . . always in the receiving/learning/experiencing phase . . . and not in the role of teacher or leader.  It's not that I feel like I am doing a terrible job . . . but, I would never say that I have it down (would any parent?? if so - I'd love to talk to them).

But, I do seriously admire the many women that share their lives through blogs and articles that have an air of confident calm.  Oh how I would love if people used those words to describe me!

T - Take a minute (breathe and observe).
E - Engage and empathize.
A - Acknowledge the feelings and needs.
C - Connect and problem solve.
H - How does it feel? How do I feel? How do you feel?

I will never forget a NY taxi driver that told me that the major influence a parent has on their child is in the first five years.  *gulp*  He was kind of a brilliant taxi driver, by the way . . . the stories that drivers must hear and the wisdom they must gain.  That's a separate story.  But, I don't miss opportunities to learn from taxi drivers (unlike my hard and fast rule that I never talk to people on planes. Ever.).

In a second, my two babies have grown from this:

to these big kids:

with a couple more added in who aren't that small anymore either:

 

 

 

If only these kids understood how hard we try to be the best we can for them.  But, I don't think you can ever understand that phenomenon until you have kids of your own.  And, then you can't UN-know what you know . . . your kids are your everything, punishments really might hurt the parents more than the kids, life really isn't fair, you can't and SHOULDN'T have everything you want, and yes . . . you have to share, be kind, and learn to handle authority well . . . and you are actually in control of your own happiness.

 

We don't exactly know what we are doing.  But, we are hopefully getting an A for effort . . . which, sadly, in the world of parenting, may not mean much.

 

We are learning, too, little ones.  And, we love you.

 

Precious Memories

For the longest time, whenever we said something to Gage, we would usually end it by saying, "okay?"  And, he would always say, "Kkkkk."

And, ever time I read Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site, he would end every page by saying, "Niiiiiiight."

It was heart melting.  Ooey gooey puddles of sweetness.

And, then one day we noticed that he stopped saying, "Kkkkk" and "Niiiiiight."  Just like that.  Our little man had moved on from the phase he was in to the next phase.  And, he left a little behind of being a twenty month old . . . and came a few steps closer to being a 2-year-old.

And, those little moments become memories that might surface one day when we pick up the right book, smell the right smell, see the right pajamas.

But, I always fear that these sweet experiences might not make it to the shelf in my memory that holds the most precious treasures.

Like when Gavin called his beloved macaroni and cheese, mac aerial.  And, hamburgers, hangabers.

Garrett can't stop sticking his tongue out.  It hangs out of his mouth all the time, licking his lips and smiling.  He loves sleeping on his side and feeling a blanket right up against his face - just like his big brother.

Gage lays down in bed every night and pulls his silky blanket right over his face - wrapped up like a little cocoon.

Autumn must have ice in her water every night.  Often she doesn't even touch it.  But, it has to be there or she can't sleep.

Gavin, who left his bears behind more than a year ago, has reattached himself to one particular bear that he calls Buddy.  And, he can absolutely tell the difference between the bears he has . . .

Oh these babies . . . they hold my heart.